Fallin' Out

Here I am
Alone and I don't understand
Exactly how it all began
The dream just walked away

This is one stanza from the song " I Don't Want You To Go" by Lani Hall. Lately I find myself relating to this song. I don't understand how this could be happening. Why, despite all the assurances he did, am still feeling like we're drifting apart. I can't begin to explain how painful it is on my part, that I can't even make him understand why am I feeling this way. We've already talked and argued countless times about this but each time that we do, it's like nothing is being fixed; the issue still hangs like a dark cloud over the relationship.

Now as I sit here in front of my computer, I wonder, is this what you call "falling out"? If so, then why do we both claim to still love each other the way we always did?

We have been through worst times and we always made it through... which, thinking back now, did we really make it through? Or did we just turn our backs on those issues and went on with our lives as if nothing happened? Pretending and lying even to ourselves that everything is ok?

I can't even begin telling  my friends and start confiding in them about what I'm going through now... it's just me and my blog... where I can freely write what I think and feel...  and right now, I'm still trying to figure out the pieces of the puzzle...